Jaidip, Parent
Parents and teachers getting together to talk about a common concern: the child. At school, at home and in the wider world. The hope being that, together, one arrives at some measure of insight into the Childs life, which could help everyone.
How then, should we as parents approach these meetings?
I would think that objectivity and a certain absence of identification with the child would be very important. An ability to see ‘a’child and not’My’child.
We have just been to the meeting and I’m sad to say the above is much easier said than done.
I was frankly astonished at the extent of my perception of Sagar as an extension of myself. To say I preened every time I thought of an observation as ‘positive’ and was pretty downcast (or felt argumentative) when the opposite happened would not be entirely untrue. In short: Sagar was Me. Does it not then follow that I was talking about myself most of the time and not about Sagar at all?
If one says that the beginning of all divisiveness in society is our identification with people and things, does not the ‘family’ (nuclear/joint/community/whatever) stand tall as one of the primary mischief makers?
If one is not willing to drop this monstrous possessiveness, in what way can meetings such as these help?
Latha differs with me in that while agreeing that a parent/child relationship tends to be ill defined as to where the child ends and the parent begins and that although a certain sense of identification/ pride about ones offspring is inevitable, common sense dictates when one should abandon/modify it and intelligent parenting is all about knowing when to do so.
Despite standing accused of having neither intelligence nor common senseJ, I am not entirely convinced…
Comments (6)
The aspect of parent-child relationship is one I had wondered about for some time, as mentioned in this entry, that a child is an extension of the parent and the parent should view him/her as such. I have two children 5 and 3, it is easier said than done, but nevertheless, a constant awareness of the same, goes a long way. Association with the idea and people that promote this thinking has sustained us; the challenge is still there.
-A Parent
Shiva Prasad
being technologically challenged I am not sure whether my comment got posted. I think Jaideep is entirely right and honest Possessiveness is always more about ourselves than about the one we purport to love. It distorts clear seeing and sensitivity which are a truer source of emotion than memory and sentiment.
To continue only awareness of the movement of possessiveness and its distorting qulity ends it. The meetings hopefully are an exercise in awareness however chaotic and are therefore of paramount importance
To continue,
quality
meetings,hopefully,
chaotic,
Insightful article. Its a rare event to become fully aware of one’s own conditioning. Just intellectual recognition of it does not solve the problem. This is what happens usually, eh?
What an honest and objective way of perceiving thoughts! I liked the clarity in articulating how enmeshed you felt with Sagar.